You -- or your college roommate -- has an overnight guest and needs some privacy for a while. But handling being "sexiled" -- in essence, being kicked out of your room so your roommate can have some time alone with their guest -- can go from awkward to a major problem without a good understanding between roommates. After all, who wants to come home at 3:00 in the morning only to be blocked from their own room?
Communicate
The old sock-on-the-door method is not only out of date, but it also doesn't work and just plain looks ridiculous. (Not to mention that it's easily foiled by other people in your hall...) Your roommate and you should come up with a way of letting each other know when you're already in the room and don't want to be disturbed: a word on your dry erase board, a book outside, a text message, a post-it note somewhere on your door. Additionally, you may want to consider coming up with something to say if you, your roommate, and one of your boyfriends/girlfriends is in the room and someone wants some personal time. Bringing up a certain topic (a family member? a computer problem?) can act as a signal that one roommate should leave, for example, for an hour or so.
Plan Ahead
Obviously, this won't work for every situation, but it can help prevent problems. Are you in a long-distance relationship, and your partner is visiting this weekend? Talk to each other to figure out a schedule during the visit. Or, if your roommate has a date planned for Wednesday night, plan to be in the library until it closes to avoid any unnecessary interruptions.
Have an Understanding About Guests
Most college roommates are relatively understanding about being sexiled -- until it becomes a major problem. Being sexiled for an hour or so? No problem. Being sexiled for hours on end, night after night? Major problem. Talk with your roommate about how much time is okay to be blocked from your room, how long guests can stay (all weekend? one night?), and if those rules need to change during certain times of the semester (like finals week).
Figure Out a Plan if You Both Want the Room
The only thing worse than coming home at 3:00 in the morning to find yourself sexiled is coming home at 3:00 in the morning to find yourself sexiled with a guest. Talk to your roommate about what to do in this situation and how you both can be respectful of each other as well as of your shared space.
Work Around Your Schedules
Sexiling doesn't have to be complicated. Does your roommate have a class every Thursday night from 7:00 - 10:00? Does she work or volunteer Saturday mornings? Take advantage of that time so that you can get the privacy you need without making things tense between the two of you.
The main point of any roommate sexiling situation is, of course, communication. Having a few predetermined rules and communication methods in place before a situation arises is the best way to keep an awkward situation from becoming uncomfortable for everyone involved. After all, if you thought talking to your roommate about being sexiled was uncomfortable, imagine how awkward things would be if you accidentally walked in on a situation you didn't need to see. Planning ahead just may be your best bet!
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